what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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