He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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