do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
