Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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