On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
