how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
