did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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