period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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