sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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