i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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