I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
