He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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