i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
