guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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