Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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