I wanna bring you to show and tell
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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