im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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