when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
