Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
