it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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