I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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