You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
