how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
