well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Randomize
