I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
