I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
