Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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