I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
