So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
