didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
