In the future we'll all be gay
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
