She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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