dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
