You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
