Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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