She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We need a shit load of segways right now
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
