I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
