i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Bring me that man meat
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
