mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
