He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i wish my penis had a tongue
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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