: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
