Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
