You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The air was thick with penises
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
