I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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