Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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