I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
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