Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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