that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Operation Purity has been aborted
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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