I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
