i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
