If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You made out with two different species that night
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just want nice things and good sex
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
