Operation Purity has been aborted
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
